February is the month of love when different love birds share their love for each other unfortunately to some the situation can so toxic and manipulative. According to relationship therapists manipulation is one form of abuse and is not easy to detect. In some cases, a manipulative partner may be using these strategies subconsciously and not even realise what they’re doing.
9 ways to tell if your partner is manipulating you according to Manly and Jaclyn Martinez, a licensed clinical social worker with Suffolk Family Therapy:
- You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them for fear of their reactions and responses
- They guilt trip you to get what they want
- They make you question your memory, emotions, beliefs, values, or decisions – which is a sign of gaslighting
- They pressure you to do things by making veiled threats
- They frequently play the victim
- They purposefully do things with the intention of making you jealous
- They withhold affection when they don’t get their way
- They give you the silent treatment — otherwise known as “stonewalling” — during or after arguments
- They take advantage of your insecurities or use them against you
How to Deal With a Manipulative Partner
Bring Your Observations to Their Attention
Notice Whether Your Partner Takes Your Concerns Seriously
Encourage Your Partner to Seek Help
Prioritize Building Up Your Self-Esteem
Ask Questions to Gain Insight Into Your Partner’s Views
For example, you might say: “I feel really hurt when you shut down and refuse to talk to me when we’re having a fight. Can you explain why you tend to do that?”
Finally, let your partner know what you’d like them to do instead, for instance: “It would help me to feel more secure during conflicts if you could just let me know when you need some space to process your thoughts or emotions rather than shutting me out.”
“Manipulative partners often prey on vulnerabilities and insecurities, and the best defence against manipulation is to have a clear sense of who you are, what you want, and what you will and will not tolerate,” she adds.
