Yesterday, I spoke about my uncle who looked after the family in my teens because my mom told him it was his turn.
But before my uncle returned from exile in the nineties, my mom was the one who looked after the family.
In my childhood, my mother was the primary provider in her maternal family, caring for two adults (my grandmother and great-grandmother) and four children (her two daughters and two nephews).
My mom was a nurse and an entrepreneur. She says she didn’t even know when her payday was and rarely knew how much she earned because her business made her more money than she could keep track of.
And yet, despite all that success, she still felt unappreciated and resentful. She often said that people only tolerated her because of what she did for them financially.
As a child, I witnessed explosive arguments about money; it was a recurring theme. I learned early that money causes tension, that it makes love feel conditional, and that care always comes with a cost.
In the end, my mom felt used, and her relationship with her maternal family fell apart. It has never recovered.
Years later, when my business, Wealthy Money, began to take off, I almost followed in her footsteps and my uncle’s too.
Even with all my healing work, even as a coach teaching about trauma, I was quietly carrying the same invisible script: your worth is in what you give.
The only reason I caught myself was because of one simple, uncomfortable moment.
I had gifted my mom a three-week trip to Thailand and Sri Lanka. As part of it, she spent two weeks at a retreat in Chiang Mai, Thailand getting daily massages, resting, and receiving.
At the end of her stay, the retreat owner asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks:
“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮?”
(Notice she wasn’t asking, “why do you give to your mother?”, she was asking, “why not give to yourself as much as you give to your mother?”).
Her question stung.
I expected praise for being a good daughter because that’s what everyone was doing.
Instead, she asked me to reflect on why I wasn’t using my money to care for myself.
That one question cracked something open.
I realized I had learned to make money, but not to receive it for myself.
To give, but not to keep.
To nurture others, but not to nourish myself.
To express love through sacrifice, not through balance.
And just like my mom and uncle, I was building wealth while carrying an invisible belief that my value was tied to how much I could do for others.
That pattern doesn’t just drain our bank accounts; it drains our spirits. It leaves us resentful, depleted, and confused about why the love we give feels so heavy.
It’s what happens when love and money get entangled in duty and guilt.
When we haven’t yet learned that receiving is also part of the legacy we’re meant to leave.
Because true legacy isn’t built through exhaustion.
It’s built through being able to hold, enjoy, and expand what we’ve worked so hard for.
𝐒𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮:
– Have you ever given even when your body whispered “no”?
– Have you ever felt guilty for wanting to rest or invest in yourself?
– Have you ever wondered why it feels safer to pour into others than to allow yourself to receive?
If so, you’re not alone. I’ve been there.
So have countless women I’ve worked with, women who’ve mastered the art of creating income, but who long to learn how to keep it, grow it, and enjoy it in ways that honor their peace, their bodies, and their relationships.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐨𝐧-𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤.
It’s for the woman who’s ready to rewrite her family’s story, from survival and sacrifice to ease, wealth, and emotional freedom.
When this work lands:
You give from overflow, not obligation.
You invest in yourself with ease, without guilt.
You set boundaries with compassion, not fear.
You build wealth that supports you, not just everyone else.
This is deep intimate work, a private four-month coaching experience where we rewire how wealth, love, and legacy flow through your family.
The investment for this experience is US $16,000 (paid in full) or US $4,000 per month for four months.
You’ll also receive lifetime access to the Money Magic Course (valued at US $5,555).
If this speaks to you, I invite you to book a private consultation. DM me to hop on a call.
By Vangile Makwakaw, Author and Entrepreneur – wealthy-money.com/coaching
